Are you constantly seeking the validation of others to define your self-worth? What evidence is already present in your life that you can use to help you advocate for the things you want to ask for? In today’s episode, we are talking about the evidence that is all around you, from your actions in your work to your relationships. Every one of your accomplishments is a piece of evidence in support of your worth and value, and you can use that evidence to find the internal motivation you need to get what you deserve. I’m joined by Ani Anderson, the founder of Motivation Beyond Measure, who uses evidence in her work to help her clients understand how feelings and sensations are evidence of thoughts. We talk about the importance of loosening your grip on control, how you can tap into your internal motivation, and the value of understanding your sensations as well as your emotions.
Today we discuss —
Loosening your grip on control
- Look for win-win solutions rather than insisting that your way is the only right way.
- Recognize that you don’t have as much control as you think you do.
- The motivation of others is never truly in your control.
- Harnessing the larger energy that works within us brings greater success and safety.
Tapping into internal motivation
- Figure out who you are and who other people are by taking genuine time and asking sincere questions.
- Everyone has the same set of motivational drivers, but which ones we utilize makes all the difference between individual successes.
- Motivational drivers include clusters of growth, achievement, and relationship priorities.
- Drivers can change over time with our self-concept and expectations.
- The compatibility of couples and other relationships doesn’t depend on having similar drivers, but it can help you understand others better.
Sensation-based motivational coaching
- Understanding how you are feeling, from a sensory aspect is just as important as understanding how you’re feeling, emotionally.
- Emotions are a thought and a sensation, and when both are addressed we are able to make change and find motivation.
- Effective change requires addressing both thinking and feeling.
- Becoming more aware of your sensations is the first step to change, and you can get started by asking yourself “Where in my body am I feeling something?” and “What does it feel like?”
- Resistance is a sensation in the body that keeps us from reaching our true potential.
Ani’s book recommendation is The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, by Don Miguel Ruiz
Ani’s song choice is “Something in the Way She Moves,” by James Taylor
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