Who stands up for you? Who tells the world what you have to offer, when you need a rest, why you’ve had enough and you just won’t take any more?  You may look to your partner, your parents, your sister, or your best friend. While it’s great to have people out there who are willing to stand up for us, those people are probably not the best suited for the job.  You are.

In lawsuits, you’re smart to hire a lawyer to advocate for you. We know the rules of evidence and the rules of law. But in life, any rules that exist are often changing and they depend on you. If you make the rules for you, it’s time to be the one to stand up for you as well.  Depending on others to fight for us is easy. If someone else is willing and able to fight your battles and sing your praises then you don’t have to do the work of advocacy. Until you do, because at some point you certainly will,  and you don’t know how. Stand up now.

If you want something, ask for it. If you need something, ask louder. When you’ve been offended, say so clearly and confidently. And when you have something to share, share it and make sure that you’re appreciated and even compensated if that feels right to you. So stand, even if your legs are shaking. The only two feet that will get you where you are going are your own. You know what you want, and where you draw the line. You know what you need, and the places where you’ll shine.  Be your own best advocate. Nobody does it better than you.

 

 

3 thoughts on “Who Stands Up for You?

  1. Hi Heather, I don’t want to come across in the wrong way. I am in a rushed mood as always, with many things weighing on me, again as always. All to say, I maybe I’m wrong here, but I can’t see how. Maybe you can advise me. I don’t feel I have any advocates (not complaining at all). Maybe I don’t understand the concept.

    I work along in an intense way all day according to the day’s needs. I need what I need when I need it. I would expect them to be there waiting to see what I might need just then.

    Not only that, I certainly couldn’t expect someone to know where I’m at and and what I need, without a lengthy explanation, which would interrupt the flow.

    For example, yesterday I worked with a person who is hosting a course in getting more ideal clients. We had to come up with a simple compelling message – after several preliminary steps. No one could do that for me. I can hardly do it. Then, I worked with my 2 ideal clients off and on during the day (on call), so I needed to pick up and re-start many times.

    SIDEBAR: My preliminary compelling message is: We help thought leaders whose client base is too small because their message is novel and ungraspable, to attract new audiences and increase their field of influence.

    I’ms sure I could go on, but I think those two examples are sufficient to give you a taste of what I mean.

    I’d love your feedback on this.

  2. NEWS UPDADTE:

    I have never started a job. Every job has started me. This is 100% true.

    How? Let’s just say, I was not trained or educated to do any of the jobs I accepted. Probably it’s been that way for many of you.

    I also didn’t start a past business I had, called Computing Solutions. The business started me. This is 150% true and WAY off the radar. No details, but trust me, I didn’t know how to do ONE THING that I needed to do – not communicate, not lead, not manage finances, not buy expensive equipment, and so on, endlessly.

    In hindsight, I am one who seeks to step up to a plate set just for me. How did I notice this?

    Well, I am trying to start a business right now, and I am having a very hard time. I don’t know what to do. I wander around wondering what next, what first, so I have some popcorn — because I have never had to start a business, they have started me. When a business starts me, I know what to do day 1 when clients start to come, and I have no choice what to do. And it progresses from there.

    OK, Here’s what’s starting me now. In life, I am asked to do things people think that I can do. I say yes. These things are NOT business related; They are community related. I say yes… not because I have to, or I feel guilty, or I can’t say no. I do it because I appreciate the community and want to contribute. When it comes down to doing the thing that I said yes to, it is usually VERY VERY hard. I have to stop what I’m doing, reorganize my mind, depend on people to respond (the hardest of all), and so on. It is sometimes “annoying-wish-I-hadn’t-said-yes” hard.

    But I don’t really wish I hadn’t said yes. Here’s the punch line: When the thing is done and successful, i.e. people enjoyed themselves and gained something from being together in this way, I feel I can do anything.
    So when I go back to “starting the business that I am having a hard time starting,” it’s not hard any more. Voila! The hard part melted. I feel capable and motivated.

    Here’s how I see it (warning, long sentence): Agreeing to do something for others that is very hard to do — and doing it fully and well, even pretending I want to when I don’t — melts away the hard part of what I need to do for my work, making me feel capable and motivated, and lo and behold, excited to get up and do it some more… when only a day before, everything had seemed dire.

    I think we could all do with some jolts to spur us on, to muster our courage and to solidify our efficacy. Here’s to it working every time for me and for you!!

  3. Afterthought: (I’m talking to myself) – So when you have something you have to do, but seriously don’t want to, DO IT. It will change your day and your life (if you keep on just doing them).

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