Perspective changes everything. Better sales, better relationships, better negotiating skills, and better choices all stem from changing your perspective. You know it’s true. At our last webinar, 85% of you said you wanted tips on how to change perspective to make better choices. Luckily, there is one easy way to gain perspective. ASK MORE QUESTIONS.

A recent study showed that when we try to gain perspective by putting ourself in others’ shoes, we fail. I’d imagine that if that study tested how well we put ourselves in our own, future shoes, we’d also fail. Our imaginations aren’t as good as we think they are. In fact, when subjects “took another’s perspective” they actually had decreased accuracy and increased confidence.  It reminds me of this quote–“Often wrong, never in doubt.”  This is no way to improve your relationships, your business or your life. But there is an answer–questions.

Ask. Ask what your partner needs. Ask what your client wants. When you’re in a negotiation, ask and then listen. In his book Never Split the Difference, Chris Voss says the person who listens most has the most power. Chris, a retired FBI hostage negotiator, talks about the power of questions. You can have that power for yourself, if you’re willing to ask more than you tell, and listen more than you speak. I know that’s easier said than done….

Trial lawyers have to ask questions. It’s how we win cases, or resolve them if the circumstances call for it. With time and experience we learn what to ask, and when and where. Most of all, we learn how. My friend Shanin Specter actually teaches a law school class called How to Ask a Question. Questions are the key to winning in the courtroom–the bedroom, the boardroom, and beyond.

On August 9th, I’m doing a webinar on Asking Questions. My guest, Stacey Honowitz, and I will talk about asking questions. We’ll review some of the research on how to ask them. And most important, we’ll answer YOUR questions live. In fact, this topic is so important that we’re doing it live TWICE that day–2pm and 7pm. So register here to attend live at 2pm Eastern, and here to attend at 7pm Eastern. And come ready to ask questions.

2 thoughts on “The Secret to Gaining Perspective

  1. Heather,
    I love the way you have inserted video into your individual blog posts. What you have done is an important reminder to pay more attention to representational styles since not everyone enjoys reading long blog posts but may be amenable to watching a short video or listening to a podcast instead. I’m quite sure the people on your List appreciate having that ootion. Bravo for you. Great job! Robert “Bob” Wright, Jr., Ph.D., COFT

    1. Thank you so much Bob! The videos come out on Thursdays, even when I don’t have a challenge going. Look forward to talking to you on your podcast soon!

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