We all have to be able to overcome objections as well. Other people are bound to object to what you do, or how you do it. They object, and you have to find the words and the ways to overcome. This, too, has its own chapter in my book as it is a big topic. Overcoming objections is as important as learning to object. It can be hardest when the person who is objecting, the person whose objection you must overcome, is you.

We stop ourselves far more often than others stop us. We want to try something new, but then the inner objections hold us back. Our inner objections stop us from trying, from moving, from being vulnerable, and from listening. They even stop us from objecting! If you’ve been doing the challenges thus far, you’ve probably been overcoming your own inner objections. That’s my wish for you. Because you have to overcome them to win.

In my book I tell the story of how I learned how to overcome objections in a Judge’s chambers. There, I learned the best way to overcome objections is with two words. “SO WHAT?” Because when your inner objections are examined in the light of this question, they often can’t survive. Here’s an example. I have inner objections every time I do a challenge.

“No one will sign up.”

“So what?”

“People will think you’re silly.”

“So what?”

“People won’t understand why you’re doing this.”

“So what?”

I ask “So what?”, and then I answer. And when I do, I usually find that the answer isn’t fatal. So no one signs up–the only thing I’ve lost is time, and since writing these challenges helps me become a better writer, it’s not a loss. So people think I’m silly. Sometimes I am.  So people don’t understand. They don’t need to understand And when I find those who do understand, I know I’ve found my community.

There are also times you have to overcome other’s objections. You can use “So What?” there too, but it has to be more curious. Why are you having this objection? What are you afraid of, and how can I overcome it in a way that works for both of us? These two words can be the key to unlocking better relationship with yourself and others.

Overcoming objections takes confidence, but it also builds confidence. You need confidence to succeed in life. In fact, one study showed that highly confident candidates were 2.5 times more likely to be hired for a job. Whether you want a job, an opportunity, or a relationship, you have to have to build the confidence muscle to get it. Overcoming objections is your exercise for today.

TODAY’S CHALLENGE–TRY TO OVERCOME OBJECTIONS. Start with your own. They tend to hold us back the most. And then share. What is one inner objections that is holding you back? And how can you overcome that sole objection today? Share with us, and share with others who need help with overcoming objections. I’ll see you tomorrow.


  1. I want to present a visual thinking program to a principal at a religious school.
    BUT, She won’t understand the benefits, because I’ve never done it.
    Do it with some high school girls, teachers, and parents. Ask them to describe the benefits.
    BUT, She’ll hesitate, as maybe she’ll feel it will overshadow her work.

    Make the proposal for a pilot that works in conjunction with her as head.
    OR work with someone else (a teacher or administrator) to do a pilot and show wonderful results.

    BUT, I don’t have extra time. When will I have time?

    Make time in October.

    Have fun, remember I have a partner and do it with her!


    Then expand it… a whole new dialogue!

  2. Yesterday was one of those days! My wife and I texted as we were both ready to throw in towel on projects. So we said a prayer via text and trudged on. We don’t know the results of our work yet – and may not for some time. But we do have an idea of what would have happened if we quit, there wasn’t anyone else willing to step up at the time, so it would have not gotten done. That’s ok if it isn’t important – but we both believed what we were doing was. So we congratulated each other for sticking through and not giving up when we I got home. I love those chats even when they are in the late hours. Prayers Chava and her husband get to have those chats at home again soon.

  3. So what? Ya often one could say 100 years from now, who’ll care? Sometimes I think that way, other times its just so stuck in my craw. This challenge like many are “point taken” and will consider now but for sure after Nov 2019, God willing and the creek don’t rose.

    But FYI I love your stuff, I find it very meaningful and I never think you are silly and I’m very lucky to be living and learning so much about me and life and more importantly, what truly matters!

  4. My one tip to overcome internal objections is to like an idea for 5 minutes. When you give that a try you are less likely to come up with reasons not to do something but rather explore the positives.

    1. Ha! I love this. The other day I did a tv thing where we argued one side, then switched and argued the other. I think that is a BRILLIANT way to learn empathy, understanding and curiosity. Your 5 minutes of like is even better. I may steal this!

  5. I love the so what question and have applied it in my work for years. Though I have used it slightly differently. I am a org. development/change management professional and often teams get hung up on what they think is the true objection or advantage. By asking So What? and the person is able to answer it, means there is something deeper to uncover. As Heather points out it may take several rounds but as long as there a response the root objection or benefit has not been revealed.

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