With all this talk about objections, it’s important to remember that you don’t have to spend your life looking for them. Here’s the wonderful thing: when the time comes to object, you feel it in your heart and in your gut. Trust yourself.

Twenty years in the courtroom taught me that I had to stop looking for objections. Once I became comfortable objecting, I looked for objections everywhere. And sometimes, I was so busy looking for objections that I missed things. I missed what the witness had said, or had left unsaid. I missed the tone of the witness’ voice, or her body language. I was so busy looking for objections that I was missing the things that could have led me to an important question, or an important piece of evidence. I was so busy looking for objections that I risked missing the win.

Don’t spend your life looking for objections. Looking for objections is a lot like looking for reasons to be offended–if you look for them, you’ll find them. Instead, look for fun, for laughter, for connections. You find what you look for, and these are the things you want to find. Objections should be the exception and not the rule.

TODAY’S CHALLENGE–TRY TO STOP LOOKING FOR OBJECTIONS. You don’t have to worry that you’ll miss them. When something is objectionable, you know it. And in those instances, object with confidence. But don’t spend your life looking for those moments. The things you focus on, grow. Science shows this to be true. The Baader Meinhoff phenomenon explains why once you’ve decided on a new car to buy, suddenly that make and model of car shows up everywhere. The things you just notice suddenly show up everywhere. No one wants objections to be showing up everywhere they look.

Where in your life are you looking for objections? And is it distracting you from something better, more productive, or more fun? Share with us how you will work to stop looking for objections, even if just for a day.  Then share this with someone who could use the reminder to stop looking for objections in her own life. See you tomorrow!


  1. Interesting as I put this into practice yesterday. “So What” used to get under my skin and for a moment yesterday that came back. One director I worked for used that question often to get us to ask the next question or to try to move to the next level – but it infuriated all of us rather than motivate. “So What if you had 98% Satisfaction yesterday – that was yesterday”

    So I stopped and looked again at the real intent of the “So What” to get the point of the discussion. Our initial reaction often when reading an email, text or even post is to assume the message had a tone of negativity. But if we give the others the benefit of the doubt before responding the interaction seems to go much better.

  2. There is a piece of Jewish advice by the Rabbe MaHarash, of the past. He says, “You try to solve a problem by going around it, then to the side of it, then under it, which hasn’t worked. My advice is to go over it in the first place. …And you will see in hindsight, that it was never a problem in the first place.”

    I try to do that, and it is easier said than done. In the heat of an “objection,” sobriety kinda slips to the wayside.

    What I find, however, the more I try it, is that it is absolutely true. Most of those huge objections, in the face of it, not only are not actually objections, but they are blessings. Take for example my plumber ordeal. I tried for weeks to make sure my building communicated and made sure we had the papers. Turns out after preparing everything for them to come at 8am, the papers weren’t in, and the plumbers weren’t allowed up.

    I didn’t make it a problem. Instead I said, Fine. NO need for explanation. You don’t have the papers, don’t let them up.” From there, I looked at it as an opportunity for the building to see where they needed to communicate better.

    The plumber said they would come (last) Friday, but I changed it to next Thursday.
    Guess what! Everything is FAR BETTER.
    1. The communication did a complete turnaround. The notifications that were totally absent before are coming fast and furious.
    2. Next Thursday is a far better day, because my husband will be home, and it is toward the end of our holidays, which is awesomely better for reasons I won’t go into.

    Suffice it to say, the Rebbe was on the button. “Go over the problem at the outset,” and I’ll find it wasn’t a problem at all, anyway. Correct!! And it feels great.

    I love these, daily questions, Heather. You are right on target. All you need to do is find your audience. Eventually yours and their sweet spots will meet.

    Your audience is a small percentage of the population and narrowly defined. However, what is 3% of a billion? You can do that. All you need to do is get to the billion! 97% will say no and 3% will clamor. From there, the 3% will rise as “what works” spreads.

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